Tajmall

"ONLINE...? ONLINE...? I DON'T SEE A LINE!!" Sø says My Mum. And Mother knows best. Sometimes. At least with this I get to both quote my Mother and post something in a leap year on the last day of februar (sø it says here).

The other woman in my life claims to know nothing about today's significance for Femmekind. Knowledgeable as she is, there seems to be no inkling of the window of opportunity this date presents her. She made no mention what all she-persons are entitled to once-a-leap.

I'm assuming that there is a traditional feature to today (tradtional in Olde Albion anyhow), based on how my Mum told it to Paul Hart and I many moons ago. A proposal she made as we buttoned up our coats against the chilly winds on our walk to primary school... If I had a maths brain I could tell you what year that was. Terry Wogan on the breakfast slot of Radio 2? Almost certainly. But before or after the Faulklands War? Thereabouts*.

Shall I tell my Belle about all this at midnight hour? Or, even if she knew, would she need to check with her Mother first? Speaking of which, I know I don't need to tell you how I am always struck by the line -or the way Chuck delivers it- in the C Berry song where "Sweet Little Sixteen" asks permission: 'Oh daddy daddy, I beg of you: Whisper to mommy, It’s all right with you'.

* As for the first time I heard that Ladies can propose to Gents on Feb 29th: I was certainly told so on Feb 29, but was it 1980? Or 1984? One of these two... going by my calculations: fresh pen-marks on back of a ticket -- a ticket for a concert where I recoiled at the touch of the old-bag-sat-in-front's shoulder pad after I gave her a tap to get her attention. I was going offer to open... or confiscate (I hadn't decided at the time), her noisy Menthos packet after she'd spent several minutes wrestling with it, but hadn't managed to open.

I never got the offending item off her. She just shook her head at me and put the sweet away. And gave aggrieved stares when the lights came up. And wasn't to be found later: lying in wait to attack me with her handbag like I hoped she would. I wanted some excerise. However, after she'd gone -throwing evil-eye-stabs back my way- a strong scent of Charity Shop Mildew remained. Help the aged indeed. I tried. And was cursed for it.

Sø how? Roll on Feb 32nd... That's what I've always said.